Part of being the greatest Dad on the planet is rolling with the punches. Below, I share two January conversations with my kids – the fruits of my lions – and show that no matter how advanced in the field of awesome parentage one may be, one is never fully prepared for what comes next.

Conversation with Matilda (age 5):

Mammy and Daddy

“Look Daddy! I drew a picture for you!”
“Well thank you Matilda! Is that Mammy on the right?”
“Yeah. That’s Mammy. She’s wearing a pretty dress.”
“Ok. And that’s me? With the long hair on my head?”
“That’s not a long hair. That’s your stink lines.”
“…”

Conversation with Orran (age 3):

Orran: “Daddy – will you play swords with me?”

Me: “Sure!”
Orran: “Ok – pretend that the gun that the world comes out of is after us and I’ll get it with my sword.”
Me: “…”